Last week on King of the Nerds: Ivan overcame awkward sudoku, tennis balls, and a sumo wrestler to survive.
Ivan, the Dragon, is pleased that the Servants are back to its strength. Danielle talks as if she’s the president of the Goodbye, Joshua Committee. Her criticisms of Joshua sound like they’re stitched together, though. In my interview with Danielle, the two rivals get/got along fine according to her. Ah, reality TV.
Virgil practicing his moves in Dance Central 3 provides foreshadowing for this week’s Nerd War. Here are the Lady Gaga-esque Curtis Armstrong and David Carradine, dressed as whatever-that-was, to present the challenge:
Nerd War: Performing a Nerd Anthem
Blextrophy and Servants of the Forsaken Orb will work with a music producer for the song and a choreographer for the dance moves.
According to Curtis, their songs must “[have] nerdy references, celebrate all things nerdy, and be catchy enough that other nerds will want as a ringtone.” I wish both teams the best, but they’ll have to work very hard to get me to replace my current ringtone.
Celeste express her worries about again performing before an audience. Both teams are working on the lyrics. We’re reminded that Genevieve won’t waste an opportunity to sing. Virgil wants to put in a programming reference. Servants also work on their lyrics; they’ll decide on something edgy.
Jingle Jared from Jingle Punks works with Blextrophy. Virgil is…not a good vocalist, unfortunately. Blextrophy’s choreographer: Napoleon D’umo from So You Think You Can Dance. Cue scenes of Nerds struggling to groove smoothly.
Servants work with Rick on their rap. Tabitha D’umo from SYTYCD is their choreographer. She’s pregnant but she’s no slouch as the younger, lighter Nerds try to keep up. “Are there points deducted for this dance being kinda porny,” asks Danielle. Danielle looks very anxious trying dance moves like the body roll. Chillax, girl.
Gaudy costumes: Blextrophy has a schoolgirl/schoolboy theme & Servants have a Hip-Hop theme.
The Performance
Judges
- Garfunkel & Oates, parody-singing duo
- MC Frontalot, Godfather of Nerdcore
I think both teams’ performances were even to me.
It’s somewhat difficult to judge dancing talent because there were 50,000,000,000 camera cuts during each performance. Twas cool to know Celeste got her public performance jitters out of her system.
Servants win, 2 votes to 1. G & O were split, MC Frontalot voted Servants. Edginess defeated pep. The Nerds’ effort is much appreciated, but neither song won’t be my ringtone.
The full song lyrics as broadcast. You’re welcome.
Nerd-Off
Blextrophy votes for Virgil. Servants vote Genevieve unanimously.
Genevieve vs. Virgil in a dance contest via Dance Central 3 on XBox 360 Kinect. Both take turns playing and the one with the greater score fights on.
Genevieve cries again. Virgil feels that he has the “substantial edge.” Servants discuss their strategy of sending Virgil to Nerd-Off and avoiding choosing Celeste.
Moogega and Danielle help Virgil with his moves. Expert rhythm gamer Celeste helps Genevieve. Celeste gives a brief tutorial about Dance Central 3 for the people who think an Andy Griffith marathon is coming on after KotN.
Genevieve wins 1,129,000-1,100,00. Failing to perform the Flawless Finish probably did Virgil in. Virgil is gone from King of the Nerds.
That’s two Nerd-Off victories for Genevieve. Does crying gain her strength? Thanks and Godspeed for the fun, Virgil.
Curtis announces that the five remaining Nerds are working individually from this point. No more teams. Curtis Armstrong should get Emmy considerations for hosting style. Alas, he’ll likely earn the John Noble/Fringe Memorial Snub. Penultimate episode’s next week.
Who’s your pick to win King of the Nerds?
Nerd War Performance Song Lyrics As Broadcast
Blextrophy – Talk Nerdy to Me
Virgil:
Living life as a skinny academic
Kids treated me like
an epidemic.
Liking Star Wars
didn’t make it any better.
They all started
calling me
a bed-wetter.
Genevieve:
Then you grew up,
started seeing the truth,
That being who you are
is actually kind of cute
So to all the geeks,
Poindexters, and weirdos
All I’ve got to say is
Baby, let’s go!
[Chorus:]
I don’t care if it’s
Klingon or Na’vi, baby
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
Go ahead in
Java or in C, yeah
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
Celeste:
You can make fun of
how I look and how I talk
I got my glasses on and I’m ready to rock
Games and cubes
are really what I know
Nerd’s the new cool,
Let’s put on a show
[Chorus x2]
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Servants of the Forsaken Orb – Nerds Are King
Moogega:
You think we rule the world
and it’s kind of scary
But out influence
has gone extraplanetary
We build satellites that
make all your cellies work
While you’re the douche
on Earth actin’ like a jerk
Among us nerds
It’s all sugar and spice, and
We’re studying the cosmos
like Neil deGrasse Tyson
in school we were
quiet and never fought
Now look who’s
the [censored] astronaut.
[Chorus:]
You call me a nerd
like it’s a bad thing
But the world is a
kingdom and nerds are king
Representin’ for the
geeks who get put down
Nerd’s the new cool
and we run this town
Ivan:
People used to say
that I always look goofy
Well, hyuck, sucker
I [censored] love a Goofy Movie
Look at me now
You’ve awoken a red dragon
Breathin’ fire on you haters
who be laughin’ and braggin’
You may have played football,
but you zombie plan will fail
I’ll be chillin’ in my bunker
while they’re eatin’ your tail
Being a nerd is mroe than
having tape on your glasses
It’s about passion fool
and being badasses.
[Chorus]
Danielle:
Used to get picked on, was
the source of all the laughs
But I’m in a top-rated
guild in World of Warcraft
Other girls were dreaming
of jocks in locker rooms
While I was fantasizing
bout ridin’ Harry’s broom
I can roll a D-20
but I can’t dodge a ball
I’m the [censored] Pokemaster
I gotta catch ’em all
Academically speaking,
I won and you lost
This is Fortune 500, bitch
now I’m your boss.