Omg, I just can’t watch this ANYMORE!
I saw the case and HAD to buy it. This was crazy from Jump Street. It’s got pro wrestling manager Jimmy Hart in it! You have a tournament of creatures versus the undead . A vampire, mummy, the Frankenstein monster, Wolfman and more! Plus, anytime I can see Kevin Nash act, I’m just not gonna pass that up.
It starts off mainly explaining the rules of Monster Brawl…there are no rules. The matches are, no pun intended, death matches. The first creature you are introduced to is the Cyclops. He’s exiled himself for the past 3,000 years because he has been given the power to see anyone’s fate. The next is, wait for it…Witch Bitch. She’s the worst witch ever and is heckled by the local townsmen. She’s enlisted by the Grub, a monster bodyguard and manager, to fight. All she wants is to be respected.
Fight! Cyclops vs. Witch Bitch is the first match. Right off the bat, the Witch has the upper hand. That quickly turns when the Cyclops takes out a hammer and beats her face bloody. Wait a minute! The Grub has interfered with a chair shot! But even that can’t help poor witchy. The Cyclops uses his LASER EYE BEAM to defeat/kill her. And he lops off The Grubs’ head with one punch. Tsk, tsk.
The next match is from the undead faction. Introduced first is the mummy. Apparently, King Kahfra was a vicious leader. Now he has a taste for blood. Introduced directly after that is Lady Vampire. She is believed to be a direct descendant of the original vampire, Vlad the Impaler…Dracula.
Round 2…I can’t do it anymore. This movie is so bad!! Zero hooves out of four.