Toys "R" Us Now Specializes in Ass Hats


SO, I have to rant. And yes, this is in regards to Toys “R” Us pulling Breaking Bad figures from there shelves due to a mother from, of all places, Florida complaining about her child being introduced to such figures. While I don’t collect those figures, I do feel a need to spout out some truth about the flood gates this lady just opened up.

She’s being completely oblivious to the fact that toys don’t make her child do anything and that it is, in fact, their upbringing and the pressures of those around them on a daily basis that influences there children.

WHY, on God’s green Earth, would you cater to ONE individual? You are a TOY STORE. You are there to sell toys to both young children and adult collectors alike. The fact that this lady, whom I can only suspect let her child roam free in the store and was then able to see these toys, has made a multi-million dollar corporation change there minds about there inventory is mind-boggling.

I can understand if one of the associates (for some reason) put all the Breaking Bad toys into the Pokemon aisle. I could see her then wanting them moved to another aisle. But the fact of the matter is that these toys are in a specific aisle that caters to video game enthusiasts and adult collectors alike.

Putting The “R” in Toys “R” Us

Now, with that in mind, why stop there? Why not get rid of all the Assasins Creed toys? I mean, the whole game is pretty much killing and in a multitude of ways. Shit, we should take all the Back To The Future toys out as well. Marty’s mom almost committed incest and then her son found out that she was anything but a virgin.

And what about The Terminator? A machine was sent from the future to kill a baby. A BABY!! Surely a baby-killing machine is far worse than an ex-teacher cancer fighter selling meth to ensure his child’s college tuition and his family’s survival after he is gone. Right? If not, let’s back up for a second.

Toys “R” Us is the only place to get the exclusive Sin City Marv and Hartigan figures. A movie based on nothing but violence. I love the series but the toys must also perpetuate violence, right? Not only was there physical violence, but lets take a minute to list the other forms of immoral behavior in the movie: sexual abuse (both child and adult), mutilation, kidnapping, murder, stripping, and I am sure a ton more. Oh, you wanted more examples of television that are riddled with violence but whose toys are readily accessible at TRU?? How about Kick-Ass?

My point is, stop being an asshole Toys R Us. Breaking Bad is going down in history as one of the best shows to ever grace cable. It’s a show. That is all. I am sure the mom in Florida thinks it was some sort of A&E Documentary (we all know…it’s Florida) but it is still just a TV show.

MAYBE, just maybe, instead of taking the toys off the shelves, Toys R Us should just put a sign in front of the aisle that says “Stay out of my territory.” I’m sure people would be much more appreciative of that as opposed to your complete disregard for adult collectors in general. Ass hats.

Topper image, editing, additional touch-ups by Clarence