Lakers vs. Clippers - All-Time Showdown

Los Angeles Lakers logoLos Angeles Clippers logo

The 2012 Playoffs are heating up. (My Hawks are once again pretenders. *sniff*) By the end of May we may have basketball history: both Los Angeles teams face each other for the NBA Western Conference. How does the purple-and-gold Lake Show fare against the Lob Party, RHM style? Let’s have a look:

Los Angeles Clippers

Woeful organization which has baffled basketball fans for decades with mostly poor play or mediocrity. The Clippers, originally the Buffalo Braves, have never won a division title. Who knows if the current nucleus of Chris Paul and Blake Griffin will be around after next season.

  • Coach:Larry Brown – He took team to miraculous TWO playoff appearances!

    Larry Brown
    Pic by Wikimedia user Lpdrew (CC BY 2.0)
  • PG: Chris Paul – Could his son play Blake Griffin in Griffin’s biopic?
    [tube]F-slDZNnSnM[/tube]
  • SG: “Hollywood” Ron Harper – A sleeper pick in NBA Showdown ’94.
    NBA Showdown 94 box art
  • SF: Dominique Wilkins – Played only 25 games, but the Human Highlight Reel was indeed in Hollywood!
    [tube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_H0NbSzDHw[/tube]
  • PF: Elton Brand – Producer of Rescue Dawn, starring Christian Bale.
    Rescue Dawn movie poster
  • C: Blake Griffin – Gives hope to tall people trying to fit into Kias.
    [tube]AMy6g26qiaY[/tube]
  • 6th Man: World B. Free – Yes, that’s his name.

Honorable Mentions – After much agonizing, I select Grateful Dead fan Bill Walton.

Los Angeles Lakers

Storied franchise winning 16 NBA titles. Hoops kings of Tinseltown with beloved fans and many detractors. In almost every era of the NBA, they’ve had at least one Hall of Fame player on their roster.

  • Coach: Pat Riley – Slicked-hair showtime leader is very Hollywood.
    Pat Riley
  • PG: Magic Johnson – Do I really have to bet a pair of Converses to explain him?
    [tube]-n268IduydY[/tube]
  • SG: Kobe Bryant – Star of Nintendo’s NBA Courtside games.
    [tube]MbHFA02G7po[/tube]
  • SF: Elgin Baylor – Let’s pretend he was never a Clippers executive! Here’s a brief simulation of how he’d play against today’s players:
    [tube]Mo2bvQxMElo[/tube]
  • PF: James Worthy – Star player of Tar Heels, Lakers, and this Wheaties commercial:
    [tube]JzJ6Bff2SGY[/tube]
  • C: Shaq – We can’t have some Magic without a little Shaq-Fu.
    [tube]qP8d6W2lThM[/tube]
  • 6th Man:Metta World Peace – Versatile forward counters elusive Free.

    Metta warming up
    Pic by Bridget Daniels (CC BY 2.0)

Honorable Mentions – There are three great giants: geek glasses-clad George Mikan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, student of Bruce Lee, and former co-star of Conan the Destroyer Wilt Chamberlain. Also, someone from Zach Morris’ favorite team, the ’88 Showtime Lakers.

How would these dream teams play against each other? I’d say that these Lakers, if they played like a 1980s team, would use their quickness to beat these Clippers. Speak your mind in the comment boxes below. If you like this article, scroll down and click on any of the social media buttons.

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Author: Clarence

Webmaster, editor, writer of Red-Headed Mule. RHM was founded in 2011. Currently is liking British TV better than U.S. TV, mayhaps.