King of the Nerds Recap: The Nerds Finally Settle the Star Trek vs. Star Wars Debate

Brian debates Jack

Brian debates Jack

Last week, after robot dodgeball, Zack performs the rarified feat of “The Genevieve,” winning his third Nerd-Off. A giant robot snarks his way to America’s heart. Hilarity ensues.

Warning: This recap may contain humor.

Zack, coming off his third Nerd-Off victory, isn’t ecstatic that he had to defeat his friend, Nicole. Also, Xander found his way in the girls’ bathroom. No further comment here.

Nerd War: Star Trek vs. Star Wars Debate

For the right to pick either topic, both Titans of Rigel and Midas Touch Attack send a member, Kayla (Trekkie, Trekker…er, whatever Trek fans call themselves) and Zack, respectively, to play a round of Rock-Paper-Scissors. Both avoided good ol’ rock, but Zack’s scissors beat Kayla’s paper. MTA chooses Star Wars. Titans will defend Star Trek. One can sense the Kayla’s glee within a 50-mile radius.

The Nerds return to their dorms to see the topics:

  • Star Wars’ Empire is more dangerous than Star Trek’s Borg.
  • The USS Enterprise would beat the Millennium Falcon in a dogfight.
  • Star Wars universe is better than Star Trek’s.

Xander volunteers to sit out the debate. The other Titans study and prepare.

Judges

  • Professor Gordon Stables
  • Comedian Kumail Nanjiani
  • Colt 45 pitchman Billy Dee Williams

Kayla makes a compelling argument for the classic USS Enterprise, but Katie won her round with full conviction and SPEED. Katie rushed through her argument such that Micro Machines pitchman John Moschitta would be proud.

Chris, an experienced debater, frames his argument around the definition of dangerous and defeats Zack in his round.

Jack, a non-fan of both Trek and Wars, takes a statistical approach to argue that Star Wars is better. However, Brian’s persuasive argument about how Star Trek better fits Robert Heinlein’s definition of science fiction, a “realistic speculation about future events,” gives Titans of Rigel the victory.

The Titans are rewarded with dinner with Booger, Skolnick, and some of the original cast of Revenge of the Nerds. Anthony Edwards was not available.

Nerd-Off: Spelling Bee

Titans vote for Jack (they didn’t want to vote ex-teammate Katie or help multiple Nerd-Off winner Zack) and MTA votes Katie by majority.

Both Katie and Jack have the task of studying the “arcane” and “bizarre” (Bobby’s words) words of nerddom. Also, two volunteers each hold a buzzer that sends a shock if their assigned Nerd gets a word wrong. For this task, it’s Brian for Katie and Chris for Jack.

Also, C’MON JACK! BREAK OUT OF THE CHAINS OF NERD AWKWARDNESS, MY ASIAN BROTHER! WIN ONE FOR ALL NERDS!

Before the Nerd-Off, Jack studies with Zack. One of the words Jack prepares for is “Kashyyyk.” Hmm…

The Words (Links goes to answers)

  1. Final Fantasy’s popular flightless bird (Jack)
  2. Electrical production from mechanically stressing certain crystals (Jack, from Katie’s wrong guess)
  3. Force-sensitive people have these tiny life forms (Katie)
  4. Game of Thrones’ dragon lady (Katie)
  5. Vulcans’ bloodthirsty period of mating every seven years (Katie)
  6. Cultural revival during 14th through 16th century (Katie, from Jack’s miss)
  7. Wookiees’ home planet (Jack)

Jack defeats Katie 5-4. Katie leaves an exploded, purple mess.

The Jack and Zack connection’s Star Wars prep came in handy. Next week: George Takei.

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Author: Clarence

Webmaster, editor, writer of Red-Headed Mule. RHM was founded in 2011. Currently is liking British TV better than U.S. TV, mayhaps.